How to Have a Healthy Relationship with Technology

Everyone wants healthy relationships. Nobody wants to fight with their spouse, be distant from their children, or argue all the time with their friends. So, we work hard at having healthy relationships. It comes with hard work, learning about each other, and having the right perspective. The same is true for our relationship with technology as Christians. We have always had a complex, love-hate, relationship with screens, so you may be wondering what to do about this relationship. Do you need to separate from your phone? Do you need a hard conversation with your Nintendo system? Or do you need to recover from harmful words of social media? For this relationship, knowing yourself, knowing technology, and knowing God will be key in the battle for health.

Know Yourself

1. Your Idols. As Christians saved by grace, we’re called to live holy lives as our Father is holy (1 Peter 1:15-16). That holy living includes a godly use of technology. Today, Christians need to be honest about their technological idols whether it is their phone, their video games, or other devices. But once we’ve identified those idols, what is the best response? Scripture gives us principles on how to approach idolatry.

Though technology isn’t inherently evil, it is both wonderful and dangerous at the same time. Though it may be lawful for consumption, we must ask if it is profitable for us in the moment. We also must evaluate if we are being mastered by it (1 Cor 6:12-13). The Bible calls us to keep guard over our hearts (Prov 4:23) and part of keeping watch is having an awareness of the idols of our hearts and of our family’s hearts. Satan knows how to use technology for his schemes and desires to devour the unguarded (1 Pet 5:8).

So, if God has convicted our conscience, and our smart devices, or laptops, or streaming services are, in fact, idols, then we must take extreme measures. That either means extreme limitation, accountability, or even complete removal. Scripture says a man cannot scoop coals into his lap and not be burned (Prov 6:27:35) and that we must keep far away from the adulteress’ house (Prov 5:3-6). Idols of the heart cannot be justified or coddled; they must be removed since they interfere with our worship of God. In these cases, we must identify the idols of our hearts and root them out (Ezekiel 14:3, 7; 1 Cor 1:14; 1 John 5:21). So when we consume technology, we make sure we are not consumed by technology.

2. Your Heart. In being aware of our idols, we also need awareness of our hearts. Remember, it has always been a heart issue, not a technology issue. Using app blockers, getting a flip phone, and even removing all electricity from the house may remove sources of temptation, but don’t solve the issues of our heart. Jesus said our sin flows out of the heart; it is a problem from within (Mark 7:20-23). Our renewal needs to start from the inside out. We need the Gospel of grace and forgiveness to renew our minds (Romans 12) and change our hearts and desires. Practical ways to help the heart include things like praying with others or Scripture meditation. We can try understanding technology from God’s perspective by reading good Christian books and articles on technology, listening to sermons on how Christians should think through and use them.

Know Your Technology

Knowing technology means knowing its inherent dangers and temptations, but it also means knowing how it can be used for the glory of God. Christians sometimes don’t realize that technology can be redeemed. Things like Google, YouTube, and our tablets can be used for the glory of God. If we use the “put off, put on” principle of Ephesians 4:17-24 and apply it to technology, honoring the Lord is possible.

Technology doesn’t always have to be ten hours of video game consumption, questionable movie watching, or mindlessly scrolling while bored. Instead, we can replace it with godly benefits like learning a new skill, listening to audio Bibles, watching sound sermons on YouTube, listening to podcasts on Christian parenting on Spotify, or playing Christian songs for our family during the day. To feed our souls, we can turn off Disney+ in the background and put on an audiobook while cleaning and washing the dishes.

Know Your God

As Jonathan Edwards said, “The enjoyment of God is the only happiness with which our souls can be satisfied.” God gives us all good things to enjoy (1 Tim 6:17; cf. Eccl 5:18-19), and when it is appropriate, even technology can be one of those things to be enjoyed for pleasure. But that enjoyment must be a holy enjoyment that glorifies God: “Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Cor 10:31). The enjoyment that comes from family videos, memes, and music only pale in comparison to the greater pleasure that we have in Christ and the Gospel of God. Our enjoyment of Christ must saturate all of our enjoyment of technology. He is our supreme head so that He would have first place in everything, including technology (Colossians 1:18). Allow these verses to remind us of the greatest pleasure of the universe:

Psalm 16:11 “You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.”

Psalm 73:25 “Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.”

John 6:35, 68 “Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst … Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life.”

As enjoyable as technology can be, its pleasures cannot compare to the pleasures of knowing God through Jesus Christ. Though it has its many dangers, it can also be redeemed for the glory of God. A healthy relationship with technology is possible by God’s grace, but you must know yourself, know your technology, and know your God who is the greatest joy of this universe.